Grandma Madness

My new Granddaughter, Eve, is six years old and small for her age. She is new to me because my daughter became her step-mother in October, just five months ago. Officially I suppose I am Eve’s step-grandmother but my heart just doesn't register that “step.”  I love being “Grandma Gayle” and prior to the marriage of my daughter to Eve’s attentive and loving father I wanted to introduce the topic of being called “Nana” by the children. I was keen.

Eve“What would you think of letting the girls (Eve and her amazing sister) know that they can call me “Nana” after the wedding? But, of course, only if they want to. After all, I will be their grandmother, well, sort-of.”

There was a laden pause, they exchanged looks that said, “We knew she would bring this up.” Then one of them, I forget which one, let me know that they didn’t want to push anything on the children and it would be the girls decision what to call me. Their considered parental preference, they explained, would be to let it evolve “naturally.” My daughter said, “Actually mom, it’s not about what you want, it’s about what makes the girls comfortable.”

Fair enough. I deeply respect and love these two young adults and their amazing parenting skills. It is beautiful to watch them in action with their two elementary school-aged girls because they are heartful, conscious, gentle and boundaried parents.

However, I confess I wondered about how the children could make their own decision if they didn’t know what the options were. So, I created an opportunity for “naturally” to emerge when the girls and I were alone in the kitchen together on one of my visits. I said, “After the wedding I’ll be your grandma and you can call me Nana if you want.”

Eve spontaneously burst into what I call the “Nana Dance.” She jumped into the air like a rock star flailing her arms and singing at the top of her lungs in a husky gusty performance, pretending to play a guitar.  “Nana, Nana, Nana, Nana, Nana, Nana,” she sang to a rhythm and tune that was strictly her own. I couldn’t help myself and I jumped up and down a bit too, expressing an outrageous joy.

“Gosh, that went well,” I thought as I finished peeling potatoes and decided not to mention it to my daughter. After the Nana Dance day I never mentioned my potential new status again to the children but I was bursting with anticipation about tea parties with dolls and bike rides in the neighborhood.

On the wedding day, after the ceremony and during the reception, I was teetering around in my mother-of-the bride outfit contemplating the removal of my wine colored suede pumps which were killing my feet. I was standing near the fireplace when Eve came running towards me at full speed in her ballerina length white dress. She had long since removed her shoes and her tights were muddy, but no one cared because it was almost time for cake and I anticipated  more frosting than mud. 

Eve flung herself into my arms and said, “Hi Grandma!” I gathered up her taffeta and petticoats and held her close against my heart. She gave me a neck hug and several sweet kisses on the cheek and suddenly my feet didn’t hurt at all! It was done…we were family and I was christened “Grandma”, naturally.

Now perhaps you will understand why I was so thrilled when a special “Flat Stanley” envelope arrived in the mail.

NOTE: Flat Stanley is a piece of felt cut out in the shape of a person and decorated with pasted-on clothes and yarn hair by a six year old. Stanley arrived by mail with a letter from the first grade teacher explaining this as a teaching exercise. Recipients were to take photos and communicate with our first grader about our activities with Stanley.

My new Grandma heart went a bit mad with Grandma love when from the envelope I read the following letter written by Eve in her first grade hand:

“Dear Grandma Gayle, thank you for taking care of Flat Stanley. She is allergic to peanuts. Make sure she goes to bed at 8:00 p.m. She does not like scary movies. make sure she has a half huor of t.v. a day. Her favorite dinner is makeanchees (Macaroni and cheese). She likes Shake it up the t.v. show. She likes strawberries. She needs a sweatshirt. She will need a stuffed animal! from Eve”

As Grandma Madness settled over me my relationship to time and daily responsibilities changed and my heart filled with a feeling I knew was love, but different than any other kind of love I have ever felt. I spent days in fantasy writing three rhyming stories about Flat Stanley’s visit and making a small, intricate, quilted, detailed wall hanging to illustrate the stories. This was joyous madness.

Story #1

Dear Eve,

Flat Stanley came to visit
With a dragon on a string.
“You’re very welcome in our home,
But what’s that green-dog thing?”

Flat Stanley “Not a dog,” She laughed aloud,
“Please, can’t you see her wing?”
She’s just a little dragon
And you can call her Ping.”

So where did Stanley find her?
I’ve searched the USA.
No single dragon missing
Not one has lost her way.

I guess we get to keep her
She’s ours and not a stray.
There’s nothing else to say now
Except a big HURRAY!

I gave them both some candy
And put them straight to bed.
I have to get some sleep now
So I can clear my head.

I’m a very happy grandma
Eve sent Stanley here!
I’ll love having Stanley
But a dragon? Dear, Oh dear!

Story #2

Dear Eve,

“Mac and cheese for dinner
Come on, it’s time to eat.”
“We don’t want this food,” They said,
“We want Trick or Treat.”

Back of Flat Stanley wall hanging“Halloween is in October
Now is much too soon.
The flowers here are blooming,
There is no spooky moon.”

“We don’t care,” they said with glee,
“Trick or Treat is free!
“We’re here on vacation
So let’s go on a spree.”

Soon I heard the neighbor scream,
“A dragon’s at my door!”
When Ping yelled, “We want candy,”
He fell onto the floor.

She’s not a good example
This dragon they call Ping
I fear our friend Flat Stanley
Is having quite a fling.

I’ll check-in again on Monday
We’ll take them to the mall
We’ll have a sunny weekend
And if they’re bad I’ll call.

 
Story #3

Dear Eve,

Above our house on Sunday
The sky turned brilliant green
The air was filled with dragons
more than I’ve ever seen.

Flat Stanley started laughing
As they began to land
They quickly filled the terrace
There was no room to stand.

“We’ve come from near Seattle
Where rhododendrons flower
We flapped our little wings all day
We came on our own power.”

“We’re very good at flying
It’s Ping we’ve come to see
We are her happy family
Ping One, Ping Two, Ping Three.”

“We’re really very hungry
It’s been an awesome day
We rested at a farmer’s
Who tried to feed us hay.”

Our favorite food is cupcakes
We eat them all day long
They give us big green tummies
And keep us very strong.”

“A tea party’s in order,”
I said it with a smile,
“I’ll bake 12 dozen cupcakes
And put them in a pile.”

Ping Four, Ping Five, Ping Six,
Ping Seven, and Ping Eight
There were so many Pings around
We couldn’t keep them straight.

Now we’re a happy family
In the California sun
Flat Stanley’s eating cupcakes
and having loads of fun.

Love, Grandma Gayle

Well, I’ve looked at the photos and listened to the stories of senior citizens with Grandparent Madness for many years. I’ve resisted feeling envy when grandmothers push prams past me, I’ve managed not to turn green with jealousy when I hear stories of spending Sunday afternoon at Train Town with the little twins. But now, FINALLY, I have granddaughters who will eat whipped cream with me and do the Nana Dance until we fall down laughing!  Ahhh!

Copyright © 2014 Gayle Madison